Write a Letter to J.J. Abrams concerning Star Wars

 

Today I was feeling the strong urge to write, I was also feeling sassy and creative. It seemed like a good day to write my letter to J.J. Abrams. This is what I came up with:

Dear J.J. Abrams,

Hello there! Sorry about the mess, I feel the need to express my thoughts and concerns about your current project, Star Wars. If you’re saying that reading this letter was a bad idea, I’m starting to agree with you. You may find my lack of faith disturbing.

          I believe that it’s vitally important for you to build up a strong Jedi Order. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic — before the dark times. Before the Empire. Don’t get delusions of grandeur thinking you can leave them out of the story.

          You’ll find I’m full of surprises. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. Onto the subject of Bounty Hunters, we don’t need their scum! However, others would call me a stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerf herder. So, I’d let the Wookiee win.

          Traveling through hyperspace ain’t like dustin’ crops, boy! You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here, saying you can handle this movie. That’s no moon, no small feat to accomplish. I urge you, use the force! Do, or do not, there is no try!

          Don’t get cocky! You know better than to trust a strange computer. If you have a bad feeling about this, speak up! You are our last hope for a better trilogy! I never doubted you, it will be wonderful. I happen to like nice men and I’m sure your midi-chlorian count is off the charts!

          Laugh it up fuzzball! If ever you need an extra for your movies, I’m ready to be a Jedi. Ben, tell him I’m ready! You do have your moments, I know.

          If you strike me and my letter down, and I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

          I foresee you will become a great legend to us all.

May the force be with you,

-The Classy Geek

Did you know that it's impossible to contact J.J. Abrams? I know that now. But seriously, I wasn't expecting to actually get a hold of him. However, I tried other outlets such as Bad Robot, Lucas Film and resorted to Facebook. No beans.

If you know him, please do me the favor of passing along this message, and if J.J. Abrams actually does read this, please know that I'm completely serious about being a Jedi in the film, you can even kill me off if you'd like. Being in Star Wars would complete my life.